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notalwaysright_feedRead Selfie-Incriminating Evidence
Customer: "My phone has stopped charging!"
Me: "Have you got it wet or left it in the sun?"
Customer: "I've never even had it near the water!"
notalwaysright_feedRead When The System Doesn’t Apply, Neither Do Its Products
Customer: "The menu says $6.99! Why does it cost more?!"
Me: "That's the price with tax."
Customer: "I don't pay tax."
Me: "In here, I'm afraid you do."
notalwaysright_feedRead Forcing Them To Make A Curse-Correction
Hotel Manager: "I am going to have to charge you [amount] per room and a surcharge."
Friend: "What do you mean the room block needs a surcharge?"
Hotel Manager: "Sorry, this is policy. Nothing you can do."
notalwaysright_feedRead Mmm, Fresh Cowpig Straight From Chornobyl Farms, Part 2
Customer: "This bacon is so raw, I can still hear it mooing!"
Me: "I will be happy to get you a new… wait… mooing?"
Customer: "Yeah! You know! Moo! Like a cow!"
Read Mmm, Fresh Cowpig Straight From Chornobyl Farms, Part 2
notalwaysright_feedRead When You Can Go Nowhere Else But Up
Customer: "The goods lift. Where does it come out?"
I point to the two obvious sets of lift doors that don't look like any other doors in the building, say "lift' above them, and are directly above the lift doors on the ground floor.
Customer: "Oh! So, it goes straight up and down?"
notalwaysright_feedRead These People Graduated From Law School…
I got a phone call today from a lawyer. She is complaining that she has a video link legal conference, and she can see her client, but can’t hear them.
Caller: "This fault has taken too long to resolve! I need to speak with my client!"
notalwaysright_feedRead A Resolution To The Resolution
Well, to my dad, anything that went wrong on the computer was my fault because I was on it all the time, and he would always tell me:
Dad: "If you don't know how to use the d*** thing, then don't use it."
notalwaysright_feed
I turned to see a woman rounding the corner, pushing her own handle-driven toddler-mobile, except hers was in the shape of a car that the kid could sit in.
A bit unexpectedly, it was not a toddler, but a seven-year-ish-old girl wearing skates who was plopped in the seat with her legs hanging out over the roof of the car.
notalwaysright_feedRead No Middle Ground
Caller: "I'd like a salad to go. What sizes do you have?"
Me: "We have small and large."
Caller: "I'll take a medium."
Read No Middle Ground
notalwaysright_feedRead New Degrees Of Bureaucracy
I moved from the UK to Switzerland to do my doctorate. As part of the process, I get a letter stating that I need to do some modules to "catch up" my knowledge, with a list of about five to ten modules. I think this is odd, but I will discuss it with my supervisor when I start.
notalwaysright_feedI work in admin support for a major business school, assisting the staff who assist the faculty in delivering courses. There’s a woman who’s been in the same exact role for twenty years and still needs to be hand-held through every semester. This is just the most recent exercise in frustration. One of the regular […]
notalwaysright_feedMy girlfriend (female) and I (also female, 2 years younger) always have our cars’ service/tire changes/etc. done at the same small local workshop. At this point, we’ve been going to this workshop for several years and the owner knows us and has evidently put two and two together that we live together but don’t share […]
notalwaysright_feed
Customer: "Why is that ringing up as full price? You have a sale on!"
Me: "The sale is only on outerwear, madam."
Customer: "Bras are outerwear, so are included in the sale."
notalwaysright_feedRead Blast From The Immediate Past
One night, about ten minutes after the fireworks ended, I had a guest come up to me and ask:
Guest: "What time will the fireworks be?"
notalwaysright_feed
Owner: "You know how to make a mint mojito, right? You have bar experience."
Me: "I do, but we don't have any mint."
Owner: "Yeah, we do! Follow me."
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