Comes the revolution, these people are at the top of my list
Thursday, 9 September 2004 09:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
carose59"That's Terrible! Whoever Heard Of A Bald Dog?"*
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Yesterday was the day this month for people where I work to bring in food. We do this every month, to celebrate birthdays and because we like to eat. Mostly it's bags of chips, or boxes of doughnuts (neither of which I'm denigrating) but every so often someone will bring in something homemade. Yesterday it was brownies.
And they were beautiful brownies, dark and gooey and I knew immediately why I had dragged myself in to work. I picked up one and put it on a plate and carried it reverently back to my desk, where I took a bite.
It was filled with peanuts! Peanuts!! Who puts peanuts in a brownie? I'll tell you who, sick, sad individuals who have run out of flies to pull the wings off, that's who! I spent the rest of the morning rummaging through my brownie, throwing away peanuts (which, having been cut in half, looked rather like teeth, which did not help their case one bit!) and licking brownie off my fingers.
It was a sad day indeed, but somehow I survived.
Then, today, sitting in my cubicle I heard, "Yes, there are brownies back there, I made some last night because I forgot about yesterday." And I thought, because you realized that something had to be done about that abomination from yesterday. My heart leapt with joy as I headed for the table.
These brownies looked equally wonderful, and as I examined the sides, I saw no offensive legumes, or even any walnuts, which would have been acceptable if not actually desired. They did seem to have some kind of glaze on the top, but that was all right, a little glaze couldn't hurt anything, right?
Wrong! It was filled with coconut! Coconut glaze smeared all over the tops of innocent brownies!! As I resisted the urge to spit out the bite I'd taken, I realized that there was no way this wasn't some sort of insidious plot, both against brownies and brownie-lovers. How could any person with any good in their heart defile a brownie this way?
Well, let me tell you, I've been suckered in for the last time. The next time something brown and gooey and delicious-looking shows up in this building, I'm having it analyzed before I put any of it in my mouth.
And on a related note, I'm going to live by the words of the great Sandra Boynton: "Carob works on the principle that, when mixed with the right combination of fats and sugar, it can duplicate chocolate in color and texture. Of course, the same can be said of dirt."
*Gomez Addams
-:- -:- -:- -:-
Yesterday was the day this month for people where I work to bring in food. We do this every month, to celebrate birthdays and because we like to eat. Mostly it's bags of chips, or boxes of doughnuts (neither of which I'm denigrating) but every so often someone will bring in something homemade. Yesterday it was brownies.
And they were beautiful brownies, dark and gooey and I knew immediately why I had dragged myself in to work. I picked up one and put it on a plate and carried it reverently back to my desk, where I took a bite.
It was filled with peanuts! Peanuts!! Who puts peanuts in a brownie? I'll tell you who, sick, sad individuals who have run out of flies to pull the wings off, that's who! I spent the rest of the morning rummaging through my brownie, throwing away peanuts (which, having been cut in half, looked rather like teeth, which did not help their case one bit!) and licking brownie off my fingers.
It was a sad day indeed, but somehow I survived.
Then, today, sitting in my cubicle I heard, "Yes, there are brownies back there, I made some last night because I forgot about yesterday." And I thought, because you realized that something had to be done about that abomination from yesterday. My heart leapt with joy as I headed for the table.
These brownies looked equally wonderful, and as I examined the sides, I saw no offensive legumes, or even any walnuts, which would have been acceptable if not actually desired. They did seem to have some kind of glaze on the top, but that was all right, a little glaze couldn't hurt anything, right?
Wrong! It was filled with coconut! Coconut glaze smeared all over the tops of innocent brownies!! As I resisted the urge to spit out the bite I'd taken, I realized that there was no way this wasn't some sort of insidious plot, both against brownies and brownie-lovers. How could any person with any good in their heart defile a brownie this way?
Well, let me tell you, I've been suckered in for the last time. The next time something brown and gooey and delicious-looking shows up in this building, I'm having it analyzed before I put any of it in my mouth.
And on a related note, I'm going to live by the words of the great Sandra Boynton: "Carob works on the principle that, when mixed with the right combination of fats and sugar, it can duplicate chocolate in color and texture. Of course, the same can be said of dirt."
*Gomez Addams