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carose59This Particularly Rapid, Unintelligible Patter
Isn't Generally Heard, And If It Is It Doesn't Matter!*
-:- -:- -:-
I don't remember which Robin Cooke book these are from, because it's been a few years. I listened to several, and while the plots were mostly engrossing and believable, my attention was constantly drawn to parsing the sentence structure. How did a man whose writing was so awkward become so successful as a writer? Here are some examples I preserved for posterity. Or, really, you guys.
"How are you feeling?"
"As best as can be expected."
*
His eyes had gone from fully closed to fully open, such that the whites could be seen all around his irises.
[is this translated from some other language?]
*
. . . which Lou insisted on calling the morgue. Although Lou knew that OCME was a lot more than the morgue, and that the actual morgue was only a small part of the operation . . . [because OCME was a lot more than a morgue, though the morgue was there, but there was more to it than that. You see.]
*
. . . he was feeling very rested and happy, as well as wonderfully ignorant of what had occurred the previous evening. ["Man, am I glad I don't know what happened last night!"]
*
He thanked himself for hiring someone as good as Jacqueline . . . [it's good to be grateful to yourself]
*
He dialed Shitoshi's cell phone number, which he'd committed to memory. With an uncomfortable premonition building with each hollow ring, Ben impatiently drummed his fingers on the edge of the desk. When the pre-recorded generic out-going message came on, Ben's premonition was unhappily vindicated. When appropriate, he left a message for Shitoshi to return the call, adding that he had some good news to report. [I could give you twice the information with half the words.]
*
. . . with that accomplished, Ben went into his closet and dragged out his coat. [though it struggled mightily]
After ten rings—which she had actually counted— . . . [explaining how she knew how she knew there were ten]
*The Pirate King, Gilbert & Sullivan
Isn't Generally Heard, And If It Is It Doesn't Matter!*
-:- -:- -:-
I don't remember which Robin Cooke book these are from, because it's been a few years. I listened to several, and while the plots were mostly engrossing and believable, my attention was constantly drawn to parsing the sentence structure. How did a man whose writing was so awkward become so successful as a writer? Here are some examples I preserved for posterity. Or, really, you guys.
"How are you feeling?"
"As best as can be expected."
*
His eyes had gone from fully closed to fully open, such that the whites could be seen all around his irises.
[is this translated from some other language?]
*
. . . which Lou insisted on calling the morgue. Although Lou knew that OCME was a lot more than the morgue, and that the actual morgue was only a small part of the operation . . . [because OCME was a lot more than a morgue, though the morgue was there, but there was more to it than that. You see.]
*
. . . he was feeling very rested and happy, as well as wonderfully ignorant of what had occurred the previous evening. ["Man, am I glad I don't know what happened last night!"]
*
He thanked himself for hiring someone as good as Jacqueline . . . [it's good to be grateful to yourself]
*
He dialed Shitoshi's cell phone number, which he'd committed to memory. With an uncomfortable premonition building with each hollow ring, Ben impatiently drummed his fingers on the edge of the desk. When the pre-recorded generic out-going message came on, Ben's premonition was unhappily vindicated. When appropriate, he left a message for Shitoshi to return the call, adding that he had some good news to report. [I could give you twice the information with half the words.]
*
. . . with that accomplished, Ben went into his closet and dragged out his coat. [though it struggled mightily]
After ten rings—which she had actually counted— . . . [explaining how she knew how she knew there were ten]
*The Pirate King, Gilbert & Sullivan