People stuff
Friday, 8 January 2021 01:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
carose59"He's Just A Guy . . . Who Exists . . . In Reality."*
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The best thing about retiring will be not listening to ambient conversations.
God knows they can be entertaining, but I get very caught up. Lately, one of the IT guys has been in the vicinity, helping with an epidemic of printer problems. He’s abrupt and seems impatient, but I’m wondering if what I’m hearing is social anxiety. I so well know that “please, I just need this conversation to be over with” feeling. Maybe I’m projecting.
And his impatient tone has the effect of making whoever he’s talking to sound anxious as well. I want to go over and sit them both down, tell them to take a deep breath, then say, “Nobody is trying to hurt you. You’re safe. You can relax. You’re doing fine.”
This is not a thing you can do. I don’t care who you are.
I couldn’t even do it with my parents. I’d listen to them talking to each other, each of them just missing the point. I wanted to be their interpreter, but they didn’t seem to want to understand each other, and I wasn’t sure I could trust them with each other’s vulnerabilities.
*
One of the Cataloguers just stopped to wish me a happy new year, and now I’m crying because I’m baffled.
I hardly know most of the Cataloguers, and now with them mostly working from home, I seldom even see them. And I honestly don’t know why anyone would take the time to stop and say something to me, because . . . I don’t feel liked. It’s me I don’t feel liked by, so I can’t really imagine other people just randomly liking me. I do have friends, with whom I share time and thoughts and comfort, and that seems bizarre and miraculous enough, but for someone who I’m just acquainted with stopping to be nice, it feels inexplicable.
I do try very hard to be nice to people. I stopped at White Castle on my way to work. They’re always lovely there, sweet and friendly. The girl this morning was bubbly and nice, and I told her, “I’m really glad I like the food here, because you guys are always wonderful and I love coming here.” She seemed delighted with this.
*Jack Hodgins
-:- -:- -:- -:-
The best thing about retiring will be not listening to ambient conversations.
God knows they can be entertaining, but I get very caught up. Lately, one of the IT guys has been in the vicinity, helping with an epidemic of printer problems. He’s abrupt and seems impatient, but I’m wondering if what I’m hearing is social anxiety. I so well know that “please, I just need this conversation to be over with” feeling. Maybe I’m projecting.
And his impatient tone has the effect of making whoever he’s talking to sound anxious as well. I want to go over and sit them both down, tell them to take a deep breath, then say, “Nobody is trying to hurt you. You’re safe. You can relax. You’re doing fine.”
This is not a thing you can do. I don’t care who you are.
I couldn’t even do it with my parents. I’d listen to them talking to each other, each of them just missing the point. I wanted to be their interpreter, but they didn’t seem to want to understand each other, and I wasn’t sure I could trust them with each other’s vulnerabilities.
*
One of the Cataloguers just stopped to wish me a happy new year, and now I’m crying because I’m baffled.
I hardly know most of the Cataloguers, and now with them mostly working from home, I seldom even see them. And I honestly don’t know why anyone would take the time to stop and say something to me, because . . . I don’t feel liked. It’s me I don’t feel liked by, so I can’t really imagine other people just randomly liking me. I do have friends, with whom I share time and thoughts and comfort, and that seems bizarre and miraculous enough, but for someone who I’m just acquainted with stopping to be nice, it feels inexplicable.
I do try very hard to be nice to people. I stopped at White Castle on my way to work. They’re always lovely there, sweet and friendly. The girl this morning was bubbly and nice, and I told her, “I’m really glad I like the food here, because you guys are always wonderful and I love coming here.” She seemed delighted with this.
*Jack Hodgins