Nothing

[carose59]

I'm always saying there's nothing wrong
usually when it feels like something is terribly wrong.

My mind and body are barely on speaking terms:
my mind absorbs the wrong, but doesn't hold it;
instead, it leeches into the groundwater, infiltrates my body
and suddenly, days or weeks or years later, my hands get anxious
and my arms get depressed
and my legs get edgy.

Nothing is wrong.
I just hurt all over and I'd like to cry over that thing that happened back nearly two weeks ago.
You remember, the one I haven't cried over, the one I said was nothing, the one I made jokes about.
My mind has moved onto other things
but my body is trembly and sad.

Nothing is wrong,
I'm just crying over things that happened a decade ago,
a lifetime,
and I can't make phone calls,
and I cry when someone calls me--
after they hang up, after I've been so cheerful I must seem pathologically oblivious to my own life.

Pollute the groundwater and it doesn't matter what you plant
because what will grow are monsters.


Posted simultaneously on LiveJournal and Dreamwidth

Comments

[melodyclark.livejournal.com]

Boy, do I know this feeling.

As always, starkly real and utterly on point and very well-worded.

[carose59.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Feeling much better since I wrote it down. *g*

[natashasolten.livejournal.com]

I am in a daze.

[carose59.livejournal.com]

Is this good?

[natashasolten.livejournal.com]

It hit a mood with me in perfect timing.

Poetry is one of those things I find difficulty judging. If it moves me, then it works for me. This moved me.

[carose59.livejournal.com]

Since that's exactly what I'm going for when I write, I call this a great success! Thank you!