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[carose59]

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Good God, can't I kill myself any faster than this?

It goes so slow,
                filling my heart with all the things
                                       that
                                       taste like love
                                               and are not
   the heat rises up                            burns away

(everything) 

I sit in the coolish room reading a story in a magazine
             the girl is me

   only the things that happen to her        are true
                                   and when they are over,
                                     the last page turned,
                                       they leave no scars
just a small dot to signify

The End.

 Unreal people with
    real lives read about by
    real people                 (person) with
 unreal lives. 

     Symmetry?
          Irony?
      Poetry . . . ?
M a d n e s s
       Con
          fus
             ion
                       Ashes.
       
You stroke my hair and tell me not to cry
                       but what is there not to cry about?
  I'm lost.

Sometimes I think of going down to the basement,

                   of shining a flashlight in all the dark

corners,

                                to see if maybe I'm there,
                                       hidden

                                abandoned.

I must be somewhere.

I would take up smoking, if I could bear the smell,
              (ashes)
               death in the air itself.

The knife is just a little too sharp;

I want to wear my life away, not hack it out.

                                A high note played in the
                                             wind,
                                          wafting   away--

     But I want it to be over

If only I could leave
                                                  nothing

could remove myself like a joker in the deck,
                                                extraneous

                                                unnoticed.

  I can't keep drying my eyes and saying nothing is wrong.
    I can't live with the taste of ashes and call it love.

I want to stand on the hot roof and scream it, shriek it--

say your name aloud!
and let your heat devour me.