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carose59"That's A High Percentage Of Thinking To Not-Talking."*
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The second rehab place my mother was in, back in 2013/14, she had a horrible roommate. She didn't want to share the room, and made life as difficult as she could for not only my mother but anyone who went to visit her. She used to bang into my chair with her wheelchair. This was because there wasn't room for her to easily maneuver in and out, but that was her own fault: she kept pushing my mother's bed toward the door, and it put it in the way of her getting out of the room. I would have taken a hard line with her, but nobody asked me.
The part that made me really crazy was the way she acted as though I was there to see her. Until she got full-on obnoxious, it was very awkward. I didn't want to be rude to her, but my time was limited and I didn't particularly want to talk to her. And conversations with my mother and another person is always complicated since she can't hear and very often I'm the only one who takes that into account. I don't want to leave her out of the conversation, but I also don't much enjoy being in the position of having giving instructions on polite behavior to perfectly adult people.
This time she had a whole series of roommates, and except for the last one, they were all problematic in various ways. But once again, they all acted like I was there to see them. They'd talk to me, and not one of them tried to include my mother in the conversation, which I understand, but it's still rude. And it put me in the position of trying to have conversations with two people at the same time, of having to repeatedly yell at my mother that I wasn't talking to her.
And I'm not talking about people who were particularly old, or senile. Is there something about being in a rehab facility that separates you from your manners? If it were me, I'd feign polite disinterest unless directly addressed. Maybe it's because I'm so aware that visitors have such limited time, demanding their attention is stealing it from the person they came to see.
Of course, my mother didn't help the situation. She'd talk about her roommates in a loud voice with them right there. I desperately wanted to say, "She's had a stroke, she didn't use to act like this." I hate hurting people's feelings. That's the real problem, because if it didn't matter to me, I could just have ignored them, but I'm simply no good at that.
More than anything, this was what I dreaded about going to visit. I find it stressful even writing this.
*Burton Guster
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The second rehab place my mother was in, back in 2013/14, she had a horrible roommate. She didn't want to share the room, and made life as difficult as she could for not only my mother but anyone who went to visit her. She used to bang into my chair with her wheelchair. This was because there wasn't room for her to easily maneuver in and out, but that was her own fault: she kept pushing my mother's bed toward the door, and it put it in the way of her getting out of the room. I would have taken a hard line with her, but nobody asked me.
The part that made me really crazy was the way she acted as though I was there to see her. Until she got full-on obnoxious, it was very awkward. I didn't want to be rude to her, but my time was limited and I didn't particularly want to talk to her. And conversations with my mother and another person is always complicated since she can't hear and very often I'm the only one who takes that into account. I don't want to leave her out of the conversation, but I also don't much enjoy being in the position of having giving instructions on polite behavior to perfectly adult people.
This time she had a whole series of roommates, and except for the last one, they were all problematic in various ways. But once again, they all acted like I was there to see them. They'd talk to me, and not one of them tried to include my mother in the conversation, which I understand, but it's still rude. And it put me in the position of trying to have conversations with two people at the same time, of having to repeatedly yell at my mother that I wasn't talking to her.
And I'm not talking about people who were particularly old, or senile. Is there something about being in a rehab facility that separates you from your manners? If it were me, I'd feign polite disinterest unless directly addressed. Maybe it's because I'm so aware that visitors have such limited time, demanding their attention is stealing it from the person they came to see.
Of course, my mother didn't help the situation. She'd talk about her roommates in a loud voice with them right there. I desperately wanted to say, "She's had a stroke, she didn't use to act like this." I hate hurting people's feelings. That's the real problem, because if it didn't matter to me, I could just have ignored them, but I'm simply no good at that.
More than anything, this was what I dreaded about going to visit. I find it stressful even writing this.
*Burton Guster