Three into Two Won't Go

A friend commented on her livejournal about House, Wilson, and Amber in a three-way (and how that wouldn't be such a great idea *g*), and I came up with this. (She is in no way responsible for this; the fault is all mine.)

"That did not go the way you said it would," Wilson said. He was sitting on the side of the bed, pinching the bridge of his nose, and it wouldn't have looked funny except he was also naked. He looked like he should be wearing at least his white coat. Though that might have looked even funnier.

"She started it," House said, and Wilson squinched his eyes more tightly shut, as though that would somehow keep him from hearing what House was saying.

"Why are you still here?" Wilson asked, opening his eyes, looking at House.

"You invited me to spend the night," House said.

"And you didn't think the fight you picked with my girlfriend might have somehow made you less welcome?"

"She started it!" House repeated, more adamantly.

"I don't care!" Wilson said, standing up. "You promised me this threesome thing would somehow hammer out the antagonism you two feel for each other! I suppose I should just be grateful neither of you brought a real hammer—" He stopped himself in mid-tirade. "Go home."

"I thought we were going to have sex," House said, as though he couldn't understand what the problem was.

Wilson looked at him, started to say something, then just shook his head and walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

"OK!" House called through the door. "If there's not going to be sex, I'm ordering a pizza!"