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Thank God for ginger ale.
Saturday, 2 October 2004 08:40 amA Home Has Many Purposes, But It Should Primarily Be a Place Where You Can Cry and Run a Good Fever.*
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I seem to have picked up a bug, probably traveling. Left work early today, came home and crawled under all the covers I could find (chills) and slept a couple hours. Then I got up for a trip to the bathroom, went back and slept a couple more hours. Then I got up and took my temperature and called my mother. I hope to hell she doesn't get this; I hugged her Tuesday when I was leaving.
So, my temp has been hovering around 101, and my head hurts (from not eating? Not eating will do this to me even when I'm not sick, though if I wasn't sick, I wouldn't go without eating all day. Well, half a dozen peanut butter crackers. Not enough to stave off a hunger headache, though, not enough food for a whole day).
And I'm at my usual morbid, melancholy sick self. I've never been sick entirely alone before; before at least I had Pat on the other end of a phone. Now I have my mother, but it isn't the same. It isn't the same. When I'm sick, there's a part of me who's completely sure I'm going to die, very soon, and now–well, now I'm sure I'm going to die alone and no one will even notice. (Told you–morbid and melancholy.)
I've been eating crackers, and I've made some chicken broth and ramen noodles. I have a twelve-pack of ginger ale (which I've had for months, but haven't touched). I have a thermometer and an ice pack and Tylenol. I have a blanket and a chair that tips back and hours of West Wing and L&O to watch.
I have a couple of cats who fight to sit on me (of course, they fight on me) and I have–
I have no one to stroke my head and say, "Poor dear. Poor, poor dear." I know I was lucky to have that for twenty-five years, but I wasn't ready. I'm really not ready to be a sick person all by myself, and I don't think I'm ever going to be.
And I want to say, right here, for the record that the West Wing people are going to burn in hell. How could they do this? How could they feed us all this evil discord between Jed and Leo and then KILL LEO??? How could they kill Leo at all? What kind of people are? And they'll probably have Jed not even care because they are stupid, horrible, evil people I am going to hate 'til my dying day.
Do they really think that they can do this to us, that they can KILL LEO and then hope to placate us with Alan Alda? I love Alan Alda but using him this way is just wrong, wrong, wrong on so many levels! And you know what else? The West Wing people have become so incompetent anyway that God only knows what they'll do with Alan Alda anyway. These are, after all, the people who have managed to make Steve Ryan boring, a thing I didn't believe was possible. (I see him in scenes and am just stunned to realize that I'd barely noticed him. It boggles my mind. I have said on more than one occasion–possibly here, but I'm too lazy–er, um, sick to go look–that I would watch Steve Ryan do anything because he's always interesting. Somehow the pervasive evil that surrounds West Wing has neutralized Steve Ryan's innate quirky fascination. That alone proves the wrongness of West Wing now.)
And they did this to me when I'm sick. Heartless, evil bastards. I have put a curse on them, and even when they come begging, I will not be forgiving them.
And as a word of warning (probably unnecessary to anyone not as totally brain dead as I am): Don't watch Outbreak while you're sick, even if you know you've got the flu and that the reason you're occasionally coughing up blood is that your throat is that you've been coughing so much your throat is raw. Watching Outbreak or any other movie like that is only going to upset you. Trust me on this. (I do not have hemorrhagic fever. Really. I have the flu.)
*Lauren Slater
-:- -:- -:- -:-
I seem to have picked up a bug, probably traveling. Left work early today, came home and crawled under all the covers I could find (chills) and slept a couple hours. Then I got up for a trip to the bathroom, went back and slept a couple more hours. Then I got up and took my temperature and called my mother. I hope to hell she doesn't get this; I hugged her Tuesday when I was leaving.
So, my temp has been hovering around 101, and my head hurts (from not eating? Not eating will do this to me even when I'm not sick, though if I wasn't sick, I wouldn't go without eating all day. Well, half a dozen peanut butter crackers. Not enough to stave off a hunger headache, though, not enough food for a whole day).
And I'm at my usual morbid, melancholy sick self. I've never been sick entirely alone before; before at least I had Pat on the other end of a phone. Now I have my mother, but it isn't the same. It isn't the same. When I'm sick, there's a part of me who's completely sure I'm going to die, very soon, and now–well, now I'm sure I'm going to die alone and no one will even notice. (Told you–morbid and melancholy.)
I've been eating crackers, and I've made some chicken broth and ramen noodles. I have a twelve-pack of ginger ale (which I've had for months, but haven't touched). I have a thermometer and an ice pack and Tylenol. I have a blanket and a chair that tips back and hours of West Wing and L&O to watch.
I have a couple of cats who fight to sit on me (of course, they fight on me) and I have–
I have no one to stroke my head and say, "Poor dear. Poor, poor dear." I know I was lucky to have that for twenty-five years, but I wasn't ready. I'm really not ready to be a sick person all by myself, and I don't think I'm ever going to be.
And I want to say, right here, for the record that the West Wing people are going to burn in hell. How could they do this? How could they feed us all this evil discord between Jed and Leo and then KILL LEO??? How could they kill Leo at all? What kind of people are? And they'll probably have Jed not even care because they are stupid, horrible, evil people I am going to hate 'til my dying day.
Do they really think that they can do this to us, that they can KILL LEO and then hope to placate us with Alan Alda? I love Alan Alda but using him this way is just wrong, wrong, wrong on so many levels! And you know what else? The West Wing people have become so incompetent anyway that God only knows what they'll do with Alan Alda anyway. These are, after all, the people who have managed to make Steve Ryan boring, a thing I didn't believe was possible. (I see him in scenes and am just stunned to realize that I'd barely noticed him. It boggles my mind. I have said on more than one occasion–possibly here, but I'm too lazy–er, um, sick to go look–that I would watch Steve Ryan do anything because he's always interesting. Somehow the pervasive evil that surrounds West Wing has neutralized Steve Ryan's innate quirky fascination. That alone proves the wrongness of West Wing now.)
And they did this to me when I'm sick. Heartless, evil bastards. I have put a curse on them, and even when they come begging, I will not be forgiving them.
And as a word of warning (probably unnecessary to anyone not as totally brain dead as I am): Don't watch Outbreak while you're sick, even if you know you've got the flu and that the reason you're occasionally coughing up blood is that your throat is that you've been coughing so much your throat is raw. Watching Outbreak or any other movie like that is only going to upset you. Trust me on this. (I do not have hemorrhagic fever. Really. I have the flu.)
*Lauren Slater